Not my EX

Relationships are very funny.

They either fill you with joy or they shatter you into pieces.

There is no in between.

And the older you get the harder it gets. And the easier it gets.

It’s easier because you know everything that could go wrong.

It’s harder because you think you know everything that could go wrong.

You don’t have time anymore. It becomes tiring to get to know a person from the beginning and to put some effort in it when deep down you know it’s going to end just the same.

Men and women carry these insecurities and issues from all the past relationships on to the next one. You think you gather experience but instead you just gather more fear of not being accepted for who you truly are. It’s enough if in a past relationship your partner told you that your nose, jaw or ass is too big or that you talk too much bullshit. It’s enough to hear it one time. It will haunt you on to your next relationship.

And each time, with every new relationship you will be less you and more of the person you thought you should be in order to not get criticized anymore.

And that’s how you lose spark. Your spark. 

And then you screw it up with new relationships because you can’t seem to figure out how to be yourself anymore. So you stop trying. And when you meet someone new you’re like “oh you seem like my ex, ain’t got time for that”. And you move on. In fear. Fear because you lost yourself. Fear of being criticized over and over again. Fear of not being enough. Fear of ending up the same, with a broken heart and alone.

But you got to let it go. You have to realize that each and every relationship is a new start.  Don’t look at every new partner relating his or her every action and reaction to your ex. This is a new chance to be genuine, sincere and start fresh.

You think you are not enough? Believe me, you are. When you stop trying to be someone else and you embrace yourself, you are enough. And somebody, at some point, will see it. The people who truly deserve to be around you, will see through you and will stay.

– O


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