Advice from Jessie J and my confession

A couple of weeks ago I went in Berlin to see Jessie J’s concert and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to get a meet&greet ticket and to actually get to know her. I must say it was one of the best decisions that I have ever made. Firstly she is so down to the earth and humble that it gets you off guard and suddenly you feel like you could tell her anything about yourself. She listened to our stories for more than 2 hours, she got emotional, she felt what we felt and she was there to inspire us and give us advices. One particular thing that really got to me was the fact that she told us to not play the victim in our lives because it will take us nowhere. I know this is what you hear all the time, I know you already know playing the victim won’t bring you anything but hearing it from someone that you really admire and appreciate starts clicking those buttons in your head.

She said “I feel that there is a lot of negative energy around here. All of you tell me you want to do this and that but you don’t know how to do it or you feel like you’re not enough.” One of the girls said “I want to be a singer but I don’t have your voice. I don’t have enough voice”.

Jessie looked at her surprised and then she said “ Do you think when I wanted to become a singer I said I can’t be one because I don’t have Beyonce’s voice? No, I just concentrated on myself and my hard work and the only person I compared myself to was me. Saying you can’t do it or that you’re not good enough won’t get you anywhere. Negative thoughts will only keep you from moving forward. Stop playing the victims, start playing yourselves and work for what you believe in and what makes your heart race”.

I must say, I knew it in theory, but it moved me all of the sudden hearing the words from her mouth. And you know what? We really are great at complaining. We complain we don’t have enough money but we never do something about it like looking for another job or working harder to get a raise. We complain we don’t have someone in our life but then again, we don’t give people a chance to enter our life. We complain we’re not happy, we know what makes us unhappy, but we never change that. We just go with the flow every day, accepting the faith, complaining about it but never change it. We complain a lot. I complain a lot I must say. But then again. What good came out from complaining? Absolutely nothing. So I started to act on it. I took her advice and I became a better me. I didn’t become better than X or Y, I became better than myself. I am now a better person than I was before just for the fact that when I start complaining about something I realize it and then I try to change it. Old habits die hard and complaining a lot over the years won’t magically disappear in a jiffy. It takes time and patience and devotion to yourself. But I assure you, it is worth it.

I feel that I have to pass on this message and I wish to help people understand that life should not be miserable and something you have to complain about, instead it should be something you wake up looking forward to. I felt miserable a long time. I cried and I lost myself in my thoughts that kept me awake at night. But I got through it because I felt inspired to switch the role from the victim that I was playing, to someone worth being listened to, someone who enjoys life and doesn’t want to spend it all under the blankets sleeping it through.

It would be my deepest pleasure if somebody would want to talk about anything that goes wrong in their life and they don’t know how to change it. I am not an expert, nor I will be. But I know at some point it gets better. But to reach that point you must firstly get out of your comfort and complaining zone and start taking action. It is not that comfortable for me either to talk about how much of a depressive couch potato I was, but I choose to do it so that people can understand that it doesn’t have to be this way.

If you have any questions or thoughts, you choose, like I said, I’m happy to listen.

Don’t play the victim, always choose to look on the bright side



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